WANTED: THOMAS KELLY
Have you seen this man?
Last known location: Newark Airport, headed for Ireland, Wednesday, September 8.
Interested parties offering cash reward for capture of his missing Gamers essay.
Please forward tips to shanna at softskull dot com.
Anonymity guaranteed. No questions asked.
UPDATE: Thank you for your attention. Mr. Kelly has been FOUND. We expect to secure capture of his essay by tomorrow A.M., latest.
